I feel a pull. A constant pull of becoming. Whether it is becoming a better mom, or a better person--I feel a continuous pull. Inside my head I have a checklist that goes something like this:
~Play more with children
~Get up earlier to read scriptures
~Exercise More
~Be more patient
~Eat more vegetables
~Plan healthier meals
~Practice the piano more
~Read scriptures again
~Read good books
~Read to my children more
~Show more gratitude
~Be kinder to those who are unkind
~Be a better neighbor
~Be a better friend
...and it continues.
I know that the Lord is patient with me. I know that he is not expecting perfection now. Somehow I need to be more patient with myself. One of my favorite songs is called "Masterpiece" by Julie De Azevedo. My internal battle is directly described through the words in this song.
Simple clay in the potter's hand,
An empty page and an author's pen...
The sculpture sees the Masterpiece that lies beneath
Though rough and marred, the Master's touch can change this life into His work of Love
So every day I pray...
He'll write His will upon my heart
Mold my soul to His design
Adding color, depth, and light
Polishing until I shine, shine, shine
My heart is in His hands
Painting the Life he would have me lead...
And in time, time, time this simple life will be a MASTERPIECE
It is the experiences in this life that will eventually create a masterpiece--some of them good, some of them not. Each of those experiences mold us into something more. With all of my heart, I want to become what He needs me to become, and with that becoming I want to serve a mission, and declare what I know to be true. Through prayer, I have conversed with my Heavenly Father about this desire, and He is answering my prayer. And through His answering, I am becoming what He needs me to become, and I am learning.
Just recently I was put in charge of a Stake Young Women Recognition Night. I was thrilled to be able testify of the personal progress program. It is a program that has helped me in my process of "becoming". As I sat to write my talk, I felt the Lord's hand, I felt His words, and I knew what He wanted me to say. He was giving me an opportunity to testify, and by so doing--I was becoming.
The night of my talk arrived. Because of circumstances that were out of my hands, I was solely in charge of the evening. Thus, I found myself speaking, and conducting, which also helped in my becoming. Throughout the night, I found myself fumbling a bit (hopefully with class). There were moments that we all shared a good chuckle. Moments when I stood too soon cutting off someone who was ready to speak, or moments when I forgot a scripture and exclaimed it to all present, or even moments where I simply forgot to do specific things that were part of my job description (recognizing the Stake Presidency on the stand, recognizing the leaders absent, etc...). Each moment provided me with an opportunity to grow, and "BECOME". I found that wearing so many "hats" was more difficult than I expected. By the time the evening was over, I felt a permanent heat on my face. After the program, one mother approached me, and with all the love in her heart said, "it was nice to see you less than perfect. It put the girls at ease, and allowed them to see they could do what was asked of them". Although I loved her compliment, I felt confirmation in my own fears of just how I fumbled the night. Another dear friend said that I was "endearing". As I have reflected time and time again on this experience. I have found myself laughing at the "moments" of the evening, and crying at the "moments" of the evening. And then I realize just how perfect the night truly was... I was given an opportunity to "become" on so many levels. I learned about conducting, speaking, and simply doing my Father's will, and no matter how many times I fumbled--I did my best, and my best is all He expects. And because it was Him who wrote my talk, I know that He touched those who needed to be touched.
A few days after I had given the talk, I heard a compliment that astounded me, which confirmed that God is overall, and we are His instruments. Even when I do not feel that I perform to my capabilities, He is molds it to His design, and in the process--He is molding me too.
Here is my talk...His words...that I was blessed to deliver on the evening of Recognition:
Our ultimate goal in this life is to live worthy to
receive eternal life. Elder Utchdorf in a recent talk spoke of our potential in
reaching eternal life, he said, “Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal
life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after”. But
such a blessing does not come without a price. It is not given simply because
you desire it. It comes only through understanding who you are and what you
must become in order to be worthy of such a gift” (Utchdorf, “Your Happily Ever
After”, April 2010).
Our “becoming” is something we must choose. President
Monson has said, “Decisions determine destiny” (CES
Fireside for Young Adults, November 6, 2005, Brigham Young University). Personal Progress is
a tool that guides us in our decision making process. It helps us develop daily
spiritual routines. When speaking of the Personal Progress program, Sister Dalton said, that “when you do small things consistently, they become part of who you are and they change you. It really is “by small and simple things” that “great things [are] brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
I truly believe that when we focus our hearts on the things of eternal value, we begin our journey of greatness.
When Sister Dalton was a young woman she was given the opportunity to do just that—to focus her heart on becoming what God wanted her to become. In her words, she said, “when I was a young woman, my Young Women leaders had each of us choose a symbol that would represent the life that we would live and what we would strive to become as daughters of God. We then stitched these symbols onto our bandlos—which were fabric sashes that we wore. These bandlos were our personal banners to the world! I chose the symbol of a white rose because roses become more and more beautiful as they grow and blossom, and I chose the color white for purity…when I was called to be the Young Women general president, as I was leaving President Monson’s office, he reached over to a bouquet of white roses, took one from the vase, and handed it to me. The moment he handed me that beautiful white rose, I knew why. I went back to the time when, as a young woman, I chose the white rose as my symbol of purity—my personal banner. How did President Monson know?” (Elaine S. Dalton, “Come Let Us Go Up to the Mountain of the Lord”, April 2009).
I love the example of Sister Dalton, and how she, as a young woman, chose to “become”. A few years ago, I had an experience which reminded me of our process of becoming. It was a warm spring day, and my family and I decided to hike up the side of a mountain. The hike was more difficult than we had imagined, and my children struggled. Each of my three children needed varying degrees of help. The youngest son needed to be carried or pulled most of the time, while my middle child only needed a hand during the tougher moments. My oldest daughter seemed to traverse the mountain as long as she heard my voice shouting words of encouragement, and telling her I believed that she could accomplish this task. In an effort to reach our goal, my husband focused all of his efforts on our youngest, while I focused my efforts on our middle child. All the while we shouted words of encouragement to my oldest daughter. As we struggled up the side of this mountain, I kept promising my children great rewards if only they persevered to the top of the mountain. When our goal was finally accomplished, and we were able to look back on our progress, the rewards were sweet, and my mind marveled at how closely this experience related to our life here on Earth.
We are all on a hike. Our Father in Heaven is aware of us. He offers us help through Parents, and Leaders lending a helping hand or shouting words of encouragement, and through following the plan He has given us. By choosing to follow His plan, we choose to BECOME all that He wants us to Become. Just like Sister Dalton chose to BECOME through striving to keep herself as pure as a white rose, each of you are choosing to become by completing Personal Progress, and continuing on the pathway of personal righteousness! And just like my family hike had moments of difficulty—life too—will have moments of difficulty, but by committing ourselves to continue to live lives of personal purity, we will continue our Father’s path, and someday, we will look back on this climb, and the rewards will be sweet!
After hearing Sister Dalton’s story of personal purity, I too—chose a symbol for my life. I chose a candle and holding the candle in place—I chose a heart. My symbol reminds me to “let my light so shine”, and to “write His will upon my heart”. And just like Sister Dalton chose white for purity, I also chose colors to represent the young women values. It is my prayer that you will remember Sister Dalton’s symbol of a white rose, and that you will relate this example to your great accomplishments in completing the PP program, or if you haven’t completed your PP, to your choosing to complete it. And by so doing you will continue to pattern your life after truth and righteousness. In the Celestial Room of the temple there is a beautiful chandelier. Whenever I step into the room, I feel the light emanate into my soul. This year our theme for young women’s is to “ARISE and SHINE FORTH”. When I think of the chandelier in the temple in relationship to the light within us all, I think of our individual testimonies, and our choosing to “become”…for after all…it is truly “by small and simple things that great things are brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). I bear you my testimony of this program. I know that by following the principles within, we will prepare ourselves to enter the Lord’s temple, and eventually His Kingdom and enjoy our own “happily ever after”.
No comments:
Post a Comment