Elkington Family Reunion~Go For the Gold

Sheri and Layne planned our family reunion this year. They rented cabins in Island Park, Idaho. We spent hours talking and enjoying the sweet company of family.

The theme of the reunion was "Go for the Gold". Besides enjoying a few activities centered on this theme, we also heard a few devotionals with this theme in mind.

One of my favorite activities was the boxing matches...

I couldn't box with my neice, so I hugged her instead.

On the first night, I pulled out Amber's tooth while she was sleeping. It had been loose for months, and I had threatened I was going to pull it out, but she didn't believe that I really would... Bryan video taped the action saying that he wanted to make sure it was known that he "had nothing to do with it". It really came out quite easy...

I was sure Amber was going to be a bit upset when she found out, so I negotiated with the tooth fairy to leave a little extra due to the circumstances in which the tooth was removed. When Amber woke up in the morning, she exclaimed, "Mom, did you pull out my tooth?"
To which I replied, "Sure did, honey."
To which Amber shouted, "Thanks, Mom!"
I guess I was wrong... she wasn't upset after all.

Island Park is only thirty minutes from Yellowstone Park. We decided to take advantage of the proximity, and we spent an entire day exploring the beauty of Yellowstone. We absolutely loved it! The only down side was that we kept getting separated from the rest of our family members.

 

Old Faithful

Old Faithful

 

Jake loves waterfalls. When we were leaving Yellowstone he was sad because he didn't see enough waterfalls...

 

Here is Jake's silly pose. He keeps striking this pose for pictures. Silly boy.

 

 

Sheri gave a devotional one evening on the importance of who we are, and the light we can share with others. She shared the following story, and gave each of us mirrors to carry in our wallets. The mirrors are to remind us to shine our lights wherever we may go, and to remember that we are children of our Heavenly Father. I was grateful for Sheri's tender devotional. Her testimony touched my heart, and I determined to be a light, and to remember my worth. I am grateful to Sheri and Layne for their hard work in planning this reunion. I am grateful that we can spend time with family, and renew our relationships. I am grateful to be able to feel the spirit in devotionals such as Sheri's, and recommit myself to be better-"To Go for the Gold"! Thanks, Layne and Sheri!

(I also gave a devotional on the power of our thoughts, and what our thoughts can determine for us. I gave everybody a clicker so they could record their positive thoughts.)

Are There Any Questions? By Robert Fulghum

 

"Are There Any Questions?" An offer that comes at the end of college lectures and long meetings. Said when an audience is not only overdosed with information, but when there is no time left anyhow. At times like that you sure do have questions. Like "Can we leave now?" and "Where can I get a drink?" The gesture is supposed to indicate openness on the part of the speaker, I suppose, but if in fact you do ask a question, both the speaker and audience will give you drop-dead looks. And some fool -- some earnest idiot -- always asks. And the speaker always answers. By repeating most of what he has already said.

But if there is a little time left and there is a little silence in response to the invitation, I usually ask the most important question of all: "What is the meaning of life?"

You never know, somebody may have the answer, and I'd really hate to miss it because I was too socially inhibited to ask. But when I ask, it's usually taken as a kind of absurdist move -- people laugh and nod and gather up their stuff and the meeting is dismissed on that ridiculous note.

Once, and only once, I asked that question and got a serious answer. One that is with me still.

First, I must tell you where this happened, because the place has a power of its own. In Greece again.

Near the village of Gonia on a rocky bay of the island of Crete, sits a Greek Orthodox monastery. Alongside it, on land donated by the monastery, is an institute dedicated to human understanding and peace, and especially to rapprochement between Germans and Cretans. An improbable task, given the bitter residue of wartime.

This site is important, because it overlooks the small airstrip at Maleme where Nazi paratroopers invaded Crete and were attacked by peasants wielding kitchen knives and hay scythes. The retribution was terrible. The populations of whole villages were lined up and shot for assaulting Hitler's finest troops. High above the institute is a cemetery with a single cross marking the mass grave of Cretan partisans. And across the bay on yet another hill is the regimented burial ground of the Nazi paratroopers. The memorials are so placed that all might see and never forget. Hate was the only weapon the Cretans had at the end, and it was a weapon many vowed never to give up. Never ever.

Against this heavy curtain of history, in this place where the stone of hatred is hard and thick, the existence of an institute devoted to healing the wounds of war is a fragile paradox. How has it come to be here? The answer is a man. Alexander Papaderos.

A doctor of philosophy, teacher, politician, resident of Athens but a son of this soil. At war's end he came to believe that the Germans and the Cretans had much to give one another -- much to learn from one another. That they had an example to set. For if they could forgive each other and construct a creative relationship, then any people could.

To make a lovely story short, Papaderos succeeded. The institute became a reality -- a conference ground on the site of horror -- and it was in fact a source of productive interaction between the two countries. Books have been written on the dreams that were realized by what people gave to people in this place.

By the time I came to the institute for a summer session, Alexander Papaderos had become a living legend. One look at him and you saw his strength and intensity -- energy, physical power, courage, intelligence, passion, and vivacity radiated from this person. And to speak to him, to shake his hand, to be in a room with him when he spoke, was to experience his extraordinary electric humanity. Few men live up to their reputations when you get close. Alexander Papaderos was an exception.

At the last session on the last morning of a two-week seminar on Greek culture, led by intellectuals and experts in their fields who were recruited by Papaderos from across Greece, Papaderos rose from his chair at the back of the room and walked to the front, where he stood in the bright Greek sunlight of an open window and looked out. We followed his gaze across the bay to the iron cross marking the German cemetery.

He turned. And made the ritual gesture: "Are there any questions?"

Quiet quilted the room. These two weeks had generated enough questions for a lifetime, but for now there was only silence.

"No questions?" Papaderos swept the room with his eyes.

So. I asked.

"Dr. Papaderos, what is the meaning of life?"

The usual laughter followed, and people stirred to go.

Papaderos held up his hand and stilled the room and looked at me for a long time, asking with his eyes if I was serious and seeing from my eyes that I was.

"I will answer your question."

Taking his wallet out of his hip pocket, he fished into a leather billfold and brought out a very small round mirror, about the size of a quarter.

And what he said went like this:

"When I was a small child, during the war, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day, on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place.

"I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept only the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone I made it round. I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun would never shine -- in deep holes and crevices and dark closets. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places I could find.

"I kept the little mirror, and as I went about my growing up, I would take it out in idle moments and continue the challenge of the game. As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child's game but a metaphor for what I might do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of light. But light -- truth, understanding, knowledge -- is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.

"I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have I can reflect light into the dark places of this world -- into the black places in the hearts of men -- and change some things in some people. Perhaps others may see and do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life."

And then he took his small mirror and, holding it carefully, caught the bright rays of daylight streaming through the window and reflected them onto my face and onto my hands folded on the desk.

Much of what I experienced in the way of information about Greek culture and history that summer is gone from memory. But in the wallet of my mind I carry a small round mirror still.

Are there any questions?

A New Experiment

On Saturday I attended Time Out For Women with my sister-in-law's and my daughter, Hailey. While in attendance, Hilary Weeks shared an experience about an experiment with a clicker. She said that she heard a speaker say that on average people think over 300 negative thoughts a day. She wanted to know if it was true, so she purchased a clicker, and began clicking her negative thoughts. After a week of clicking the negative, she felt down and depressed. She realized that by giving recognition to her negative thoughts, it had completely changed her mood. In her words, she said, "the click acknowledged them enough to give the negative thoughts the ability to change my mood and outlook."

    
President Spencer W. Kimball said, “How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking? Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect. The divinity that shapes our ends is indeed in ourselves.”

    
After clicking for a week on the negative thoughts, Hilary changed her paradigm and started clicking the positive. Each day of her new experiment Hilary's positive thoughts increased. As she started giving recognition to the positive within her, she changed her outlook once again--this time for the positive.

    
President Brigham Young said, "The greatest mystery a man ever learned, is how to control the human mind, and bring every faculty and power of the same in subjection to Jesus Christ; this is the greatest mystery we have to learn while in these tabernacles of clay."

    

Grant Von Harrison, author of Drawing on the Powers of Heaven , said, "To a great extent we accomplish what we think about. Your thoughts more than anything else, will be the determining factor in what you accomplish during your life." 

    

So, we have started a new experiment at the Miller Home. We are clicking all that is lovely, and good. We are doing as King Benjamin in the Book of Mormon directed--we are watching our thoughts. A few days after I had presented this experiment to my family, my children were bickering while doing their chores. I reminded them several times to be nice; however, my constant "reprimands" didn't work. Finally, I called my children to my side. As they arrived, their countenances seemed to be screaming, "here comes the talk". To their surprise, I didn't offer advice on being kind. Instead I asked them to get their clickers. I then told them that they would remain by my side until each of them were able to click five things positive about each of their siblings. My sweet Amber is like a book with her expressions, and I focused my attention on her face as she started her clicking--first click-still annoyed; second click-somewhat annoyed; third click-not annoyed, but indifferent; fourth click-half smile; fifth click-absolute joy. My children left to finish their chores, and the contention had left. There was once again peace in our home.

    

I have a testimony of the power of our thoughts. Satan wants to destroy us. He wants more than anything to defeat our self-worth, and convince us that we are nothing. A few years ago when Hailey started the first grade I found myself distraught that I would no longer be the greatest source of influence in her life--that I would now need to trust on the influences of her teachers and her classmates. I felt strongly that she needed the experiences that only school could provide; however, I also worried for her spiritual well-being. I remember praying to my Father in Heaven. I pleaded with him to protect my daughter from the temptations that surely come. Through several weeks of turning my thoughts to God, and pleading for my daughter's safety, I felt prompted to start a tradition that continues (5 years later) today. Every morning before my children leave I ask them two questions:

 

"Who are you?"

To which they respond, "I am a child of God."

I then ask them, "What does that mean?"

To which they respond, "I am a princess." (My son answers that he is a prince.)

Our thoughts determine our beliefs in and they shape who we become. Every day our children are reminded of the divinity within them, and that remembrance has power. It has the power to guide their choices, and I have no doubt that it has an impact. In addition to this inspiration, I also felt that I should fill my children's minds with the word of God prior to school, so every morning we have scripture study. This is another way in which we are able to fortify their thoughts, and once again--remind them of their divinity. As we search the scriptures, our spirits are filled, and our thoughts are turned to our Father in Heaven. THOUGHTS do have power. I have felt it in our lives!

I am so excited for this experiment! I am grateful to be reminded of the importance of focusing on the good!

 

Since starting this experiment, I have witnessed several blessings. Here are three of my favorites:

First, I love watching Jake sit on the floor and repeatedly name all of his blessings, "I love my sister, I love my mom, I love my dad, I love the temple, I love the temple, I love the temple again..." How awesome is that?!!! To be focusing on the good, is an awesome thing!

Second, my two oldest daughter's haven't been bringing their clickers to school, so their time with their clickers has been much shorter than mine. (I have had my clicker all day.) For the past two days, I have listened to my daughter's shout out their total "good thoughts", and they have far exceeded mine. I love the example of little children! This reminds me how Christ has counseled us to "become as little children." I love it!

Third, Jake and I were running through the house looking for his clicker. As soon as Jake saw his clicker, he shouted, "The first one to touch the clicker doesn't get spankin's". He then grabbed his clicker, and then proceeded to chase me around the kitchen table determined to give me my spankin's. As we rounded the table, I grabbed him and gave him a few loving pats on the bottom. We then circled the couch, and Jake shouted, "The first one to get spankin's, get's a piece of candy". He then pointed his bum towards me as if saying "go ahead mom, give me another spankin". (Sometimes spankin's are used for play in our home.)

A Child's Reflections:

On the way to Jake's swimming lessons, Jake noticed someone building a home and we began discussing his reflections...

"Mom, what are people called who build homes?"
"Builders."
"I want to be a builder someday."
"Oh..., I thought you told me you wanted to be an astronaut, or a doctor."

SILENCE...
A few minutes passed, and I was thinking our conversation was over, and then...

"Mmm...this is so hard."
"What is hard, Jake?"
"I can't decide. I want to do them all."
"Well, you don't have to decide today. You can wait a few years."
"No, I need to decide. It's just so hard."

His cute little face was scrunched into a face of pure concentration as if the world hinged on his decision. I was touched. Touched that he was so determined at such a young age to know exactly where he was going. I hope he continues that kind of determination. Just like Jake wants to become a builder, an astronaut, or a doctor...--I want to become everything my Heavenly Father wants of me. I want to remember Him in my daily actions, and be a Christ-like example. This is my greatest desire--I hope Jake comes to desire this as well.

LIFE LESSONS

A few months ago, I took my children grocery shopping at Costco. While shopping, Amber saw prepackaged grapefruit, and was insistent that she absolutely loved grapefruit, and couldn't live another day without this delectable treat! I usually do not give into my children's pleadings; however,  in the name of "health" I was persuaded in buying the DELICIOUS grapefruit packages. As soon as we arrived home, Amber declared her excitement, and begged to eat a grapefruit package--her excitement and anticipation was palpable. I quickly agreed, and opened the package and sat back to watch the complete joy that was about to spread across my beautiful daughter's face. To my surprise, joy was not the expression that met my eyes. In fact, it was the opposite of joy. A bit startled, I asked Amber why the joy of a few moments ago had disappeared? And Amber, being somewhat surprised herself, expressed a dislike to the absolutely delectable, and delicious grapefruit. To which I asked,

"But haven't you tried grapefruit? Didn't you know what you were asking to receive?"

To which she responded that she had never really tried grapefruit--she had only witnessed grapefruit being eaten.

A month later...

I had ten cute little packages of grapefruit still in my refrigerator. Grapefruit isn't a cheap fruit...especially when it comes prepackaged in a cute little cup ready to eat. I began feeling as if my daughter needed to learn a life skill about the value of money, and honesty. I asked her to pay me for the grapefruit promising her return payment once the grapefruit was eaten. I then talked to her about honesty. I knew her intents were not to be dishonest with me; however, she chose not to disclose that she had never eaten grapefruit previously because of her desire to try it; and therefore, I bought the fruit under the assumption that she had already tried and loved this delectable fruit. With thoughts of earning back her hard earned Disneyland money, Amber ate another container of grapefruit.

 

One month later...

Slowly the delectable fruit began making room for other commodities in my refrigerator; however, to my surprise, it wasn't Amber eating the grapefruit--it was her father. Once I realized this predicament, there was only one container left, and Amber was anxiously awaiting her payment without actually earning it herself. In a final effort to teach Amber a lesson, I gave Amber the last bowl of grapefruit for breakfast. I gave her a choice: eat the grapefruit and earn back her money, or don't eat it and forfeit her money to mom. With sadness, Amber walked to the pantry and pulled out the sugar container. She served herself several heaping spoonfuls of sugar, and began choking down the fruit. Although I was sad to see her so dismayed, I couldn't help laughing when I saw her bowl.

 

It reminded me of a song from Mary Poppins: A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down. Oh, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down in the most delightful way! I'm not sure that Amber felt that today's breakfast was delightful, but I am sure it was sweet, and I hope there was a lesson learned.