The Miller Memoirs: Brandon's Viewing

Prior to Viewing

Prior the viewing, the kids helped with some farm chores--they are so adorable!

The Viewing

Prior to the viewing, I prayed for peace. I felt that there was a definite feeling of peace at my parent's home, but for me--I struggled to wrap the peace around my heart. I didn't want to refuse the love that I knew my Father in Heaven was sending. When my older brother, Eric, passed away, I had moments where I felt the Savior’s presence, and moments when I felt completely alone. Right after we found my brother’s body, my entire family felt a great peace and reassurance. We knew that a greater force was with us during that time. However, as the time drew closer for the viewing, that feeling of peace began to dissipate for me. At one point during the viewing, my father asked me to go and seek peace as I was unable to control my tears. I don’t remember where I went in the funeral home, or much about what happened surrounding my prayer, but I do remember reading in Matthew 11: 28-30. It reads, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your soul. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” As I prayed and read the scriptures, peace began to fill my heart once again. I named this scripture my “Eric Peace Scripture”, and every time I had a moment of struggle, I would again turn to this scripture and remind myself to seek the Savior.

As Brandon's viewing neared, I thought of this experience with Eric and prayed for a similar peace. I prayed for the strength to greet people with courage and strength. I prayed to be able to feel the love of my Savior. By the time the viewing began, my prayers had been answered, and I knew that a strength greater than myself had begun carrying me. I felt a strength that I knew I did not have, and I was even able to smile and celebrate Brandon.

I am truly grateful for the Lord and the peace He offers us in times of trial. I have no doubt that He is aware of us. Elder Oaks said that “Peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faith in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life’s devastating trials and tragedies” (Quentin L. Cook, Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness, April 2013).

When the Prophet, Joseph Smith, was in Liberty Jail, the Lord said to him, “My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high” (D&C 121:7-8).

Elder Cook further states, “The Savior is the source of true peace. Even with the trials of life, because of the Savior’s Atonement and His grace, righteous living will be rewarded with personal peace. In the intimate setting of the Passover chamber, the Savior promised His Apostles that they would be blessed with the ‘Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost’ and then uttered these important words: ‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you.’³⁰ Then just before His Intercessory Prayer: “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”³¹

Eliza R. Snow penned this concept beautifully:

‘Lift up your hearts in praise to God;

Let your rejoicings never cease.

Though tribulations rage abroad,

Christ says, ‘In me ye shall have peace.’”

(Quentin L. Cook, Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness, April 2013).

I truly believe that it is through the Savior each of us will be given the strength to overcome any trial we may face. As we reach out to Him, He will be ready to carry us. We do not have to try to face our trials alone. One of the most beautiful aspects of the atonement is that the Savior understands our pains and our sorrows because He suffered for them in Gethsemane. I am grateful to my Savior that He loved me enough to allow me to be carried through His atonement.

One of my favorite songs is called Gethsemane. In the chorus it states:

Gethsemane—Jesus loves me
So He Gave this Gift To Me
In Gethsemane

The nieces and nephews preparing to sing at the funeral.

The sibling arrangement was the flowers with the Maverick mug. He went to Maverick every day to get a Diet Coke. I debated whether or not this was an appropriate picture. In the end, I decided I was okay with it--even though it saddens me.